“This life was beginning again, but Li Rong was still the same Li Rong back then.”
Human regret was a very complicated thing.
He couldn’t tell how many things were involved in that regret either.
Maybe he had a liking for her, but perhaps for the most part, at that moment, he knew that he had lost Li Rong, his wife, forever.
Li Rong wasn’t just someone he might have liked. She also represented the happy family he might have had.
If he had known how to be a good husband back then, known how a man should act after getting married, and understood how to take on his own responsibilities, he would have figured out what he should and should not be involved in. Perhaps he and Li Rong would have originally had children long ago and lived happily together.
This kind of remorse reached its peak when he learned that Li Rong and Su Rongqing were together.
He quarreled with Li Rong. Li Rong gave him a slap, and he also shoved Li Rong. It could be said that they showed the ugliest sides of themselves to one another. Li Rong scolded him for being cowardly and useless. He scolded Li Rong for lacking morals and debauchery. They hated each other. For the longest time, they clashed and fought whenever they met. He felt that this woman was bitterly unreasonable, self-indulgent and depraved yet perfectly indifferent; she felt that he was ruthless, cunning and extremely petty.
After quarreling all these years, he could no longer remember what Li Rong was like back then. Even if he couldn’t remember, he felt that he might have also liked her in the beginning too.
Later in life, the two of them were allies that discussed political affairs in front of one another, but at the same time, they couldn’t understand each other’s behaviors and were wary of each other.
In the very beginning, when he saw her and Su Rongqing together, he felt reluctant, regretful and pained. However, later on, when he saw them, there was nothing but a bit of numbness and sense of an eyesore.
Because the two of them could lean on the other and accompany one another, even if Su Rongqing killed Li Rong in the end, Pei Wenxuan knew very well that Su Rongqing was sincere towards Li Rong before he decided to act.
The two of them had gone through 25 years of a lifetime, but he had always been alone, a lone silhouette from beginning to end.
Every time he saw children and a warm, happy family, he would feel empty inside. Sitting in a friend’s house with many children around would make him feel a little stifled.
The older he got, the easier it was for him to recall some of the moments of his youth. He clearly remembered that Li Rong used to lie with him on the same bed, thinking about how many children they would have and whether he wanted a boy or a girl.
He used to resent Su Rongqing and felt that he had stolen his happiness from him. However, now that Su Rongqing wasn’t the Su Rongqing of those days and Li Rong had also become 18 year old Li Rong, he looked back and realized that it wasn’t actually anyone’s fault that he had walked down this path in life. The person who was most responsible was none other than himself.
If he could start over again in this life, he wanted to live happily with Li Rong and become a good husband.
However, this life was beginning again, but Li Rong was still the same Li Rong back then.
He will never have the wife who was wholeheartedly devoted to him at the age of 18, so he had lost interest in this marriage, despite knowing that it was inevitable.
Pei Wenxuan’s thoughts were all over the place, and he proceeded to fall asleep.
They slept all night until dawn. They gradually woke up in the midst of the early morning chilliness.
The fire beside them had been extinguished, leaving only some warm ashes behind. They had been so cold at night that they had unconsciously pressed up against one another. Li Rong woke up and slightly opened her bleary eyes. She found herself lying on Pei Wenxuan’s arm and called out to him: “Pei Wenxuan.”
Pei Wenxuan opened his eyes and felt his arm had gone numb. Then, he realized what had happened. He pretended to be calm and decided to take his arm back first, then he sat up straight. Li Rong looked at him, unblinking, and noticed his rather stiff expression and couldn’t help but say: “What are you so nervous about?”
“I’m afraid you will read too much into it.”
Pei Wenxuan replied: “So I was thinking about how to prove my innocence.”
Li Rong couldn’t help but laugh when she heard this, “What innocence?”
“I didn’t do anything last night,” Pei Wenxuan said seriously, “So don’t mistakenly accuse me.”
“I know.”
Seeing that he was so serious, Li Rong lost interest in teasing him and got up with a yawn: “You haven’t reached the point where you can do something without me feeling anything.”
Pei Wenxuan was a bit dumbfounded at first, then he reacted, his face suddenly flushed. He appeared to be holding back for half a day before speaking: “Li Rong, be more reserved in the future.”
Li Rong ignored him. With a soft “heh,” she walked over to the riverbank and crouched down by the river to wash her face.
Pei Wenxuan stood there and hesitated for a while. Then, he finally decided to go over to the river to wash up with Li Rong.
After taking care of themselves, the two got up and walked along the river. As the sun rose, the sound of galloping hooves suddenly rang out. Pei Wenxuan grabbed Li Rong’s hand and urgently said: “Hide first!”
The two quickly hid in the bushes nearby. Pei Wenxuan broke off a leafy branch and gave it to Li Rong. Li Rong was a little confused: “What is this for?”
Pei Wenxuan raised the branch in all seriousness and whispered: “Camouflage.”
Li Rong: “……”
She suddenly knew where she had seen that reed hat dangling in front of her when she was still conscious. It turns out that she had not imagined it after all.
Although Li Rong felt that Pei Wenxuan’s actions seemed too foolish, she still subconsciously raised the branch over her head. She reassured herself that it was best to guard against that one potential mishap among ten thousand possibilities. In any case, it would not hurt to be cautious.
The two were crouching and holding branches for what felt like half a day when they finally saw people coming over. The person riding in the front was Su Rongqing, and behind him were some Su family servants that were looking for something.
Li Rong felt quite relieved after seeing Su Rongqing. The Su clan was a powerful, noble family that upheld righteousness, and Su Rongqing himself was a true gentleman who did not participate in any faction disputes. Never mind that Yang Quan was the mastermind behind this; Su Rongqing’s people should not be a threat whatsoever.
She immediately thought about getting up, but Pei Wenxuan hastily held her back and shook his head, signaling for her to wait.
Li Rong knew that Pei Wenxuan was used to being extremely cautious and did not object. She crouched down and continued to wait with Pei Wenxuan.
After some time, a few servants from the Eastern Palace rushed over in pursuit, followed by a young man’s shout in the distance: “Su gongzi, I heard you were looking for A-jie?” 1
A young man in white brocade robes embroidered with four dragons and a golden, beaded coronet on his head appeared in Li Rong’s line of sight and stopped in front of Su Rongqing.
Su Rongqing saluted him and respectfully said: “Your Highness.”
“No need for ceremony,” The youth rode over on his horse, looked around and asked, “Where is A-jie?”
“I saw traces of a fire earlier. They must have traveled along the river.” Su Rongqing calmly answered, then he appeared to have some doubts, “Why did Your Highness come in such a hurry?”
Li Rong and Pei Wenxuan hid in the shadows while Su Rongqing was talking to Li Chuan. Li Rong saw the person who had come and no longer hesitated. She turned her head towards Pei Wenxuan and asked, “Let’s go?”
Pei Wenxuan nodded. Li Rong stood up, leisurely walked out of the bushes and shouted into the distance: “Chuan’er!”2
[1] A-jie — an affectionate way of calling an older sister (jiejie)
[2] suffix (—er) — an affectionate way to call someone who is younger or is a junior; has connotations of ‘child’ or ‘little one.’ It only goes one way though because it’s considered disrespectful to call someone older or with higher seniority by name.
Everyone looked over in their direction at the sound of her voice. Li Chuan was stunned, then he emotionally turned around and dismounted and ran straight towards Li Rong.
Li Rong looked at the youth running towards her. He looked to be about 16 or 17 years old. He might have been running too fast, making his usually fair skin turn a bit red.
He could not hide the concern in his eyes and ran all the way over to Li Rong, panting and saying: “A-jie, are you alright?”
“What can happen to me?” Li Rong looked at the young Li Chuan and said with a smile, “You’re the one running over in such a hurry and out of breath.”
“I’m fine,” Li Chuan waved a hand, “I just heard people say that you were surrounded and targeted but have yet to be found, and that gave me a scare. A-jie, how are you, you didn’t let people…”
Before he finished his sentence, Pei Wenxuan walked out from behind the bushes.
His clothes were covered in dirt, and his hair was somewhat disheveled, but his facial features were too strikingly handsome that he gave off a calm, oppressive aura even in such a sorry state.
Li Chuan’s words trailed off. Everyone blankly stared at Pei Wenxuan who had stepped out. Pei Wenxuan saw Li Chuan and respectfully saluted Li Chuan: “This humble official Pei…”
The moment he spoke up, Li Chuan reacted. Without a word, he raised his fist and punched Pei Wenxuan, yelling: “You lecherous bastard, Gu3 has to kill you today!!”
[3] Gu — archaic pronoun for kings before the age of Emperors that means “This lonely one”; also used by princes.
Autumn: Hope you all are enjoying the story so far! Updates are scheduled for Saturday (around 9:00 AM Pacific Time). There may be more than one chapter released the same week if they are on the shorter side.
Autumn Pond Reflection 
Aw, the little brother is so cute!
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PWX stop focusing on your regret and chase after LR 😒😒😒 You’re too scared and she’s too proud…ugh, this is going to be a long road 😔😂
We finally meet LC!! He’s a bit rash omg, poor PWX…
Thanks for the chapter!!! 💖💖💖
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Thank you for updating!!!!
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I just read all the chapters. Thank you for this translation.
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They just had to come out of the bushes… Haha
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Hahahaha plus the disheveled Wenxuan 🤣🤣
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“What are you so nervous about?”
“I’m afraid you will read too much into it.”
Pei Wenxuan replied: “So I was thinking about how to prove my innocence.”
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Hahahaha well…knowing Li Rong’s personality once she put a meaning to it, she’ll definitely rattle on to Wenxuan. Might as well tell the truth, it ain’t worth it to be drowned in spit 🤣🤣
🤔🤔 thinking about it, Wenxuan’s honesty and straightforwardness were actually effective on dealing with Li Rong🤣
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Gu was used for kings and princes before emperor’s existed and it’s often used to describe witchcraft used against kings and princes? Instresting.
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I was wondering this but… Can they actually not get married at this point. Sorta seems like the reputation ship has sailed.
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