TGP Chapter 2: Memories

“Should I choose Pei Wenxuan this time?”


Li Rong’s last words before her death were about Pei Wenxuan, a man who had lived as her husband for 30 years.

After saying that, she had lost consciousness, thinking that it was the end for her. With her chronic illness, how could she withstand the fierce poison of Fragrant Beauty?

Yet unexpectedly, after an unknown period of time, she woke up again!

When she woke up, she found herself lying on a soft and comfortable bed with rays of sunshine streaking into her room. There was even orchid incense lit in the background, the scent she loved most when she was young.

She opened her eyes in a daze and heard a familiar voice softly calling from afar: “Your Highness, are you awake?”

Li Rong heard that voice and turned her head to look over. There was a gentle and calmly smiling face in her line of sight. That face could not be considered beautiful, but it was still considered pretty. That person looked to be about 25 or 26 years old, calm and dignified, and that figure looked exactly like it had in her memory.

Confused, she called out: “Jing Lan?”

The other person smiled and extended a hand to help her up and softly said: “It is now the hour of the snake (9 – 11 am). His Majesty has just left the morning court. He sent people over to say that he will be having a meal with Your Highness the Princess this afternoon. This servant was about to wake Your Highness up but did not expect Your Highness to already be awake.”

Li Rong heard Jing Lan’s words and looked at her surroundings, feeling a little shocked.

She followed along with Jing Lan’s movements, letting Jing Lan help her get up and wash her face as she evaluated her surroundings. After she had washed her face, she could confirm that this was indeed Chang Le Palace.

Chang Le Palace was the place where she had lived before she was married. Back then, Jing Lan was her personal attendant and served by her side up until she got married. Later on, she became a steward at the Princess’s mansion.

When she was young, she didn’t like Jing Lan very much because she felt that Jing Lan was too stern, disciplined, and hard to talk to. Instead, she preferred the clever Jing Mei more, but her Mother Empress liked Jing Lan, so once the Princess’s mansion was built, Jing Lan took over as the steward there.

It wasn’t until she faced an assassination attempt at the age of 30, and Jing Lan blocked a sword for her and died right in front of her, did she realize that some people act without saying a word and not because they had no merits worth speaking of.

Seeing Jing Lan still alive and at work before her eyes, as well as the palace in the days of her youth, Li Rong quickly recomposed herself and finally accepted that she seemed to be alive again.

Moreover, she had returned to when she was young.

She needed to determine which point in time she had returned to as soon as possible, but she didn’t want others to find out. As Li Rong washed her hands, she recalled what Jing Lan had said earlier and tentatively asked: “Father Emperor declared that I would be sharing a meal with him. Did you happen to hear why?”

Although this Emperor Father of hers seemed to dote on her very much, he rarely summoned her to share a meal. Every time she was called to attend, it was no different than a Hongmen Banquet.1 For example, that day when her marriage was decided, she was also summoned to share a meal.

“This servant does not know,” Jing Lan said, but after thinking about it, she added, “But this servant heard that a few days ago, His Majesty had every family submit portraits of youths of marriageable age.”

Oh, it was indeed that meal and marriage decision!

Li Rong took the handkerchief from Jing Lan’s hands. After drying off her hands, she raised her arms to allow a maid to help her change into her clothes. After getting dressed, she held onto a small, golden fan at her side and took a seat on the palanquin, which quickly headed toward the Hall of Supreme Harmony.2


[1] Hongmen Banquet — Historical reference to Xiang Yu who had a banquet to kill future Han Emperor Liu Bang (he escaped); figuratively a situation that is ostensibly joyous but treacherous in nature.

[2] Largest of the three halls of the Outer Court in the Palace.


It was a bit difficult to recall the memories of her past life, but they gradually became clear amidst the creaking sounds of the palanquin.

She remembered that she and her father, Li Ming, had a good relationship before she was eighteen.

She was the Eldest Princess born from the Main Palace and Li Ming’s first child. Li Ming treated her very well from a young age, even better than the Crown Prince Li Chuan, who was also her little brother.

She cherished Li Ming’s intentions towards her because ever since she was young, she somehow came to an understanding that when the Emperor wished to be good to her, it was an extremely rare grace and should be greatly cherished. For that reason, she tried her best to please Li Ming.

She actually had always been strong-willed and stubborn, but because Li Ming often told her that women should be demure and virtuous, she always suppressed her personality and pretended to be a “demure and virtuous” princess.

The more she pretended, the more Li Ming liked and praised her. He often told her that she was best among his many children, and if not for the fact that she was a daughter, she would have soon taken on state affairs.

In those days, when Li Ming praised her, she worked even harder. It was only until later that she understood what it meant to “kill with praise.”

She had unconditional faith in Li Ming.

Normally, when a princess reaches the age of fifteen, her marriage will be arranged, and then she would be married, leave the Palace, have a fief and build a Princess’s mansion in that logical order.

However, when she was fifteen years old, Li Ming said that he was reluctant to marry his daughter off and wanted to let her stay with him for a few more years, and she believed his words.

As time passed, her mother fell ill when she was eighteen, and Li Ming finally decided to arrange her marriage. He brought portraits of four gongzi3 and asked her to choose. These gongzi were all from prestigious and noble backgrounds and handsome. She looked at it from left to right, from every angle, and finally chose Pei Wenxuan, who looked the most handsome.

When she came back and further investigated, she was shocked by Pei Wenxuan’s true background.

This person named Pei Wenxuan actually looked pretty good.

He looked handsome and seemed to have a gentle temperament. He was the eldest noble son of the first wife in the main branch of the Pei family, perhaps even comparable to Su Rongqing, the most outstanding gongzi of Huajing.


[3] gongzi — honorific for a son of a noble or an official; may also be used as a polite way of referring to a gentleman or scholar


The problem was that he did not have a father.

It was said that when he was seventeen years old, he brilliantly passed the palace examinations as the top-scoring champion, but at that time, his father, Pei Lizhi suddenly died of illness. He was driven back to his hometown in Jinling in the name of filial piety by his second uncle, Pei Lixian. Although three years was not a long period of time, it was not short either. Once his filial mourning ended and he returned, the entire Pei family was occupied by his second uncle’s people from top to bottom. His second uncle arbitrarily arranged for him to be an eighth-rank minor official in the Ministry of Justice responsible for guarding the prison. Anyone with eyes could see that Pei Wenxuan’s days to come will not be easy.

Even his status as the eldest son of the first wife would not be able to help him live much longer.

This was equivalent to a fallen aristocrat. She naturally could not accept having to marry someone like him.

So she quickly inquired about the other three candidates.

These three candidates were Lu Yu, heir of the Marquis of Ning, Yang Quan, the second son of esteemed General Yang, and Cui Yulang, the top-scorer of the most recent palace examinations.

If no inquiries had been made, then so be it, but once the truth came out, it was shocking!

That Lu Yu was rumored to be born mentally disabled, but his mother always covered it up because once the Marquis of Ning passed away, his title as the heir would disappear sooner or later.

That Yang Quan was a madman who devoted himself in the army barracks from a young age. He had taken up a sword at the age of seven to kill and had a violent temperament. None of the maids that served him were still alive.

As for Cui Yulang, he was born in a poor, humble family. In theory, this would not be an issue, but the problem was that this person liked to frequent brothels and write poetry for the brothel girls. He wasn’t necessarily a bad person, but by living such a contemporary and liberal life, how would he have a future in officialdom?

In the list of Prince Consort candidates, there was not a single person among the four that were not “plated with gold and jade on the outside but flawed underneath.” She did not know how much effort her Father Emperor had spent in order to come up with such an awful list of Prince Consort candidates.

After inquiring about the identities of these four people, her heart turned cold. That night, she went to find her Mother Empress, thinking that she could call off her marriage with Pei Wenxuan. Who knew that the first thing her Mother Empress said was: “You must marry him.”

At that time, Li Rong was stunned. Then, she heard her Mother Empress calmly say: “The Crown Prince’s influence in the court is too strong. Even our maternal clan is too strong. Your Father Emperor is already suspicious as is. If you marry into an important, powerful family, I fear your Father Emperor will not allow it.”

“So you must marry him and live with him. When your brother ascends the throne, you will be the Grand Princess. At that time, if you wish to amicably divorce, then amicably divorce. If you do not want to, and if you feel like it, then raising a few male pets will not be a problem.”

Mother Empress’s words shocked Li Rong from head to toe. Growing up, this was the first time that someone told her that raising a few male pets would not be a problem. Mother Empress extended her hand, gently placed it on her face and softly said: “My daughter, all women in this world suffer. The only way to avoid suffering is not to learn to be demure and virtuous but to have power in hand.”

“You have to fight, seize, and gather power into your own hands. You cannot entrust your fate in the hands of others, whether it is your Father Emperor, husband or brother. You cannot count on anyone.”

“You are not young anymore,” Mother Empress’s eyes were calm again yet desolate, “I don’t have much time left to protect you either. You have always been smart since you were a child. You must marry Pei Wenxuan. So what if he is not worthy? As long as it will keep you safe and sound because what you need is not him, what you need is a marriage to avoid disaster.”

“If you don’t marry him, your Father Emperor may not be able to tolerate you anymore.”

So she married.

After marrying Pei Wenxuan, she had already planned to abandon that good-for-nothing Pei Wenxuan and become the Grand Princess herself. But who would have expected that after marrying him and seeing this individual who had a mild temperament, was extremely weak and could be killed by his clan at any time like in the stories, she learned what a “smiling tiger” was.4


[4] smiling tiger — an individual who acts nice and always puts on a smiling face, but you can never be sure of their intentions.


She gained a good ally. They took advantage of one another, supported one another, and suspected one another. She became the Grand Princess, and he became the Left Prime Minister. Their marriage was the most powerful binding contract and an oath of cooperation in the imperial court.

They were the perfect match, and this kind of match made her a little happy. At first, she even thought that maybe they could really be husband and wife, live together, have children and so on.

Until one day, she suddenly discovered that this person already had someone in his heart.

Pei Wenxuan could not really be blamed for this. Their marriage had been an involuntary affair, how could she force him to wholeheartedly devote himself to her?

It was not that she had feelings for Pei Wenxuan, but she had hope, and when she found out, she was a little disappointed.

She was proud by nature and could not accept the somewhat tainted nature of her marriage. If this was a marriage, then two people must vow to be single-mindedly and wholeheartedly devote themselves to one another. Neither could have other thoughts.

If there were other thoughts, then this marriage should not be a marriage but simply an alliance.

So, from that moment onwards, she became the Grand Princess Li Rong, and Pei Wenxuan, in her heart, became Pei daren forever.5

Pei daren had his own white moonlight and carefully looked after the other person for a lifetime. 6

And she found her own amusement. She watched operas, indulged in music and had fun throughout the land. Later, after the Su family fell into troubled times, she risked everything to rescue Su Rongqing, the man who she had admired in her youth from prison and settled him in the Princess’s mansion. She came to uniquely possess the first and only “Guest Official,” as people would say.

They each led their own lives. This marriage had no wind, flower, moon or snow,7 only the swords and shadows in skillfully battling in the imperial court.


[5] Forever “Official Pei” “Minister Pei” to her

[6] A first love is described as the moonlight that can be admired from afar yet beyond grasp.

[7] Flowery and poetic words; a beautiful romance


It began in the imperial court and ended in the imperial court.

While Li Rong was still absent-mindedly thinking back, the palanquin was lowered to the ground. She heard Jing Lan’s voice from outside: “Your Highness, we have arrived.”

With the golden fan in hand, she raised her eyes to look up at the plaque that read “Taiqing Hall.”

Now, everything was beginning again…

She thought to herself, should I choose Pei Wenxuan this time? 


The author has something to say:

When eighteen year old Li Rong left the Palace wearing a phoenix crown and robes, she proudly told her Father Emperor: “From now on, your daughter Li Rong is dead. The person before you is Niuhulu Li Rong!”8


[8] In the Chinese drama, Empresses in the Palace, the Emperor changed Zhen Huan’s (MC) surname to a Manchu surname Niuhulu (also romanized Niohuru) to deter the ministers. Zhen Huan had an iconic quote: “The old Zhen Huan is dead. Your Majesty, did you forget? You killed her with your bare hands. My name is Niuhulu Zhen Huan.” It more or less became a meme.



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